To do list

So I haven't posted in awhile. I've been working something very hush hush, on the QT, er, however that goes. I've shared it with a few good friends, but couldn't really tell a lot of people. Well, now I'm writing it in my blog and sharing it on the Internet, so obviously, it's not so hush hush anymore.

It's Sunday evening, and I have a big day tomorrow. I wanted to make sure I remembered what to do, and started forming the most bizarre to-do list of my life:

• Call the recruiter
• Print out letter
• Fill out the forms and send in
• Talk to Rose and Gloria
• Quit

Pretty much in that order too. You see, I've been working on this for about a year now. Over a year, really. Last year I was very disappointed by my review. My performance was quite fine. In fact, it was the best review I had at this job. And yet I was going nowhere. So, I asked my boss for a lot of non-monetary stuff. Most of it was the fact that I had recently met someone. And I, being the little project manager, formulated a plan. It never even got out the gate. See, it was long distance, and there was no way I could just pick up my things and move, especially given the fact we'd just met. So, based on a precedent set by a close coworker, I wanted to know if I could work remotely more often. I had done so off and on anyways for awhile. Not forever, just a week here, a week there, mostly here. Then I figured if indeed it did work out, I'd move and get a new job at that point. If not, I'd stay here.

It never got that far. My boss, despite the precedent, actually wanted me to work remotely less often. (Unlike him, who typically works remotely a couple times a month.)

I was furious. I went out that night and posted my resume. I got a call from a recruiter at 7:30 the next morning. A few days, I was on an interview. Obviously since I didn't quit then, I didn't get the job.

I was awful. I had realized, this job was literally making me rot. I was learning nothing, my career was going nowhere. Now, I'm a smart guy, and it was quite the advanced job I was going for, but I've been a programmer for over 10 years. Being the little project manager I am, I made a plan.

I thought long, and I thought deep. Think, think, think Joe, like Winnie the Pooh would say. I realized the only reason I interviewed in the first place was I just wanted another job. I wasn't getting that job because I liked it, I was getting it because I despised my current job. So what kind of job did I want then?

After long deliberation, I decided, did I want more money? Advance in my career? Travel? Well, you know I'd love to work in Europe, get paid the same thing I was here, but that wasn't happening. Given my skillset, what kind of jobs were realistic?

And ultimately I thought: consult.

I used to do it years ago, and enjoyed it thoroughly. I always said I'd do it again, just one thing differently: I'd only do it for myself. I hated getting stuck between the client and the firm. Their needs were completely different, and all too often I got stuck in the middle. That, and I wanted far more control over my destiny. Some variety. Maybe some travel.

So being the little project manager I am, I made a plan.

I needed to become marketable. I decided to pursue my certification. I would get all my Microsoft certifications, including my MCAD. (I passed the WinForms test and am just one away from getting my MCSD.) These would come in quite handy.

So the year passed along, and I took a couple trips to Europe in there as well. After passing my MCAD, my boss did give me a "promotion." I emphasize the quotes, because I was now a Sr. Systems Programmer. No extra money, and it was a "promotion" to the same title I had when I started American Express six years ago. Well, just look at my career go. </sarcasm>

Towards the end, the cycle was nearing. There's a substantial amount of money at stake at year-end. I had just had my five year anniversary, so I would become full vested. Then I'd actually get it all in January and February. Plus, again my review. Color me curious.

So review time came around. I had an even better review this time than last. I brought up the fact that despite finishing my degree and getting my certification, my career was going nowhere. This was my chief complaint. My boss said I wasn't doing enough.

That was the wrong answer.

So basically after everything vested. I put the search into full swing. In a month, I literally got contacted by over 100 recruiters. In the end, I probably actually talked to 30-40 of them. Maybe a dozen got close to talking about an actual job. (Mind you, I was extremely picky. I was looking for mostly just contracts in the City, preferably in the financial field.) And money? Well, since we got bought out by Merrill Lynch, we were going to get a 15% bonus if we stayed on four months after the merger (which would be like December). So I told them, this is what I get paid, this is a typical bonus, and plus an opportunity cost for not getting the bonus, and then something to make it worthwhile. Make it X. They would pause a moment to think about it. And not one person balked. Man, I was getting underpaid.

I ended up going on five interviews. One was a close second, one they actually did not fill the position (I think Superman was already ocupado), one was so not a love connection either way (I couldn't wait to get out of there), and two I actually ended up having offers. After long deliberation about them, I made up my mind. Nice people, good location. On Thursday, they gave the offer. On Friday, I accepted. They sent out the contracts, I got them on Saturday, and tomorrow I gotta send them in.

And quit. And now, I'm self-employed.

And so I sit her, making my list. Tomorrow is going to be one interesting day. I'm not certain I'll sleep well tonight. I already wrote my resignation letter earlier today, I just have to print it out. But I still actually gotta tell them. And Gloria and Rose, the two "Internetistas" I've worked so closely with over these last five years, who I've been sharing an office with for the last 7 months. That's what breaks my heart. I wish I could have made it work. I did everything in my power to make it work. And I will be missed. And I'll miss them. But I'll actually only be a couple blocks away. And I gotta do what I gotta do. I can't feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I can't let my career just go stagnant. And for God's sake, I just can't fly coach! :-) Seriously, my car is on its last legs, and in need of a new one.

And tomorrow, indeed, is another day.