Let March 14th forever be known as California Freedom to Marry Day
"No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today I'm a lot more satisfied.
I heard the news over lunch that a California judge ruled that California's ban on same-sex marriages was unconstitutional. While I've never spoken about it on my blog, I've spoken about it to great length in my personal life. I wanted to use this day to highlight what we've gained, and how far we have left to go.
Many people and politicians preach from the halls of the congresses across our country that we must defend marriage. They never give reasons why. I use this space to say exactly what we must defend and exactly why. Not nebulous "what if" scenarios, but actual instances of people who have been harmed by the injustice of discrimination.
My arm bears the tattoo in memorium of a man I never met, but became my hero on 9/11, as Mark Bingham defended our country on Flight 93. He, along with those others on the plane, died fighting terrorists and took down the plane rather than allow it harm another soul. Their sacrifice will never be forgotten.
What wasn't known was after, Mark had no will. According to California law of the time, his partner would get none of his estate. As part of Mark's estate, half of their house would be split between Mark's parents, one fourth to his mother, and one fourth to his father, a man who hate the fact Mark was gay, and estranged him and his mother at an early age. Mark's mother was loving enough to help Mark's partner save the house, but she had no legal obligation to do so. And the man who hated Mark got rich off his death.
And almost the entire world knows the case of Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel, a San Francisco couple who's pit bulls attacked and killed their neighbor Diane Whipple. What isn't as well known is that her partner Sharon Smith had no legal grounds to file a wrongful death suit. The court allowed it to occur in this case, and later led to legislation to allow it for all same sex couples. At the time had it occurred in any other state (except Vermont), Sharon would have been on the good graces of Diane's family to step up to the plate, something that happens less often with families who are often estranged from their gay children.
These are also countless cases of life-long partners who were denied the chance to see their love one's pass on, because the hospital did not consider them "family". The practice is now illegal in California, but is legal in 47 of the 50 states. (Soon to be 46, thank you Connecticut!) It still happens all the time in those states. It's only through the goodness of the doctor's hearts it doesn't happen more often. But only one homophobic doctor or nurse can stand in your way between you and being able to say your final goodbyes to the person who's committed your life to.
Even those that claim that many of tenaments of marriage can be reached without legislation, such as through wills and trusts, are tenous at best. A male couple in Colorado drew up a will with each other as the beneficiaries. When one of them died, the family contested the will, claiming the family was superlative to the surviving partner, since the state did not recognize their relationship, and therefore the will had no legal grounds. They won and got everything.
It begs, even screams a question:
Why do people have to die before they are given the same rights as others?
California recognized that, and thus why all of the above rights that can be granted at a state level are now included in domestic partnership rights. But they also now realize separate is not equal.
A long-time friend of mine is partnered to a German man. If they were a straight couple, they would have been allowed to marry and his partner could be a nationalized citizen. Instead, INS discovered he was HIV positive, and had him deported back to Germany. Instead of staying here in San Francisco, they now both live in Frankfurt. In Germany, he is allowed to register his partnership and emigrate to Germany. But not in America.
So even in San Francisco, same sex couples, even now married ones, have none of the immigration rights, and over a thousand rights at a federal level that states cannot grant, even with full marriage equality. Let today pave the way to ensure that people who love each other can commit their lives to each other. Love knows no boundaries.
Today I am so proud to be a Californian, to say that they did not give their lives in vain. Let today forever be in memory to them.
Today I'm a lot more satisfied.
I heard the news over lunch that a California judge ruled that California's ban on same-sex marriages was unconstitutional. While I've never spoken about it on my blog, I've spoken about it to great length in my personal life. I wanted to use this day to highlight what we've gained, and how far we have left to go.
Many people and politicians preach from the halls of the congresses across our country that we must defend marriage. They never give reasons why. I use this space to say exactly what we must defend and exactly why. Not nebulous "what if" scenarios, but actual instances of people who have been harmed by the injustice of discrimination.
My arm bears the tattoo in memorium of a man I never met, but became my hero on 9/11, as Mark Bingham defended our country on Flight 93. He, along with those others on the plane, died fighting terrorists and took down the plane rather than allow it harm another soul. Their sacrifice will never be forgotten.
What wasn't known was after, Mark had no will. According to California law of the time, his partner would get none of his estate. As part of Mark's estate, half of their house would be split between Mark's parents, one fourth to his mother, and one fourth to his father, a man who hate the fact Mark was gay, and estranged him and his mother at an early age. Mark's mother was loving enough to help Mark's partner save the house, but she had no legal obligation to do so. And the man who hated Mark got rich off his death.
And almost the entire world knows the case of Marjorie Knoller and Robert Noel, a San Francisco couple who's pit bulls attacked and killed their neighbor Diane Whipple. What isn't as well known is that her partner Sharon Smith had no legal grounds to file a wrongful death suit. The court allowed it to occur in this case, and later led to legislation to allow it for all same sex couples. At the time had it occurred in any other state (except Vermont), Sharon would have been on the good graces of Diane's family to step up to the plate, something that happens less often with families who are often estranged from their gay children.
These are also countless cases of life-long partners who were denied the chance to see their love one's pass on, because the hospital did not consider them "family". The practice is now illegal in California, but is legal in 47 of the 50 states. (Soon to be 46, thank you Connecticut!) It still happens all the time in those states. It's only through the goodness of the doctor's hearts it doesn't happen more often. But only one homophobic doctor or nurse can stand in your way between you and being able to say your final goodbyes to the person who's committed your life to.
Even those that claim that many of tenaments of marriage can be reached without legislation, such as through wills and trusts, are tenous at best. A male couple in Colorado drew up a will with each other as the beneficiaries. When one of them died, the family contested the will, claiming the family was superlative to the surviving partner, since the state did not recognize their relationship, and therefore the will had no legal grounds. They won and got everything.
It begs, even screams a question:
Why do people have to die before they are given the same rights as others?
California recognized that, and thus why all of the above rights that can be granted at a state level are now included in domestic partnership rights. But they also now realize separate is not equal.
A long-time friend of mine is partnered to a German man. If they were a straight couple, they would have been allowed to marry and his partner could be a nationalized citizen. Instead, INS discovered he was HIV positive, and had him deported back to Germany. Instead of staying here in San Francisco, they now both live in Frankfurt. In Germany, he is allowed to register his partnership and emigrate to Germany. But not in America.
So even in San Francisco, same sex couples, even now married ones, have none of the immigration rights, and over a thousand rights at a federal level that states cannot grant, even with full marriage equality. Let today pave the way to ensure that people who love each other can commit their lives to each other. Love knows no boundaries.
Today I am so proud to be a Californian, to say that they did not give their lives in vain. Let today forever be in memory to them.
posted by Joe Carlin at 10:07 PM
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